Sporadic writing of an aspiring entrepreneur who lives by two principles in his life; 1) We live only once, so take a chance and experience as many different things as possible and 2) do everything I can to reach a goal. WARNING: Most entries are not edited and some posts are personal!
Paul Graham, a successful serial entrepreneur and my biggest idol, just published another thought-provoking essay - After Credentials.
Interestingly, he was referring to a New York Times article on Korean education system. Having grown up in Korea till 16, I had experienced it myself and am in complete agreement with him. I was an odd kid in Korea. I didn't like following those customary rules just because they had been practiced for many hundreds of years. I hated cramming and being judged by test scores. And it's so true that a college degree plays a large role in one's career and life in Korea. Since graduating from college is pretty much guaranteed, once you get in, you are set. Therefore, there is a lot of emphasis in GETTING in to a college, no matter what you major in. So, it's safe to say that most kids do not major in what they wanted.
Korea is a country RULED by large companies: Samsung, Hyundai, etc. They employ 100's of thousands of people and venture into all kinds of business, from cars to hospital, theme park, and consumer electronics. Working there means job security, so many college graduates want to work there. Thus, just like what Paul said, credential and pedigree matter A LOT. Also personal connections. It's sickening.
It's one of the reasons why I like the US and the Silicon Valley. Like I mentioned about Obama, it's the land of infinite possibilities. I've worked at many start-ups, and I know that all of them were filled with people from all different backgrounds, and that included educational background. Once you leave your first job, you are judged on your skills, not where you went to school. It's so true for engineers and also sales folks. Even in the Silicon Valley, the larger a company is - like Intel and Cisco - the more your credential and pedigree matter.
Raising two kids, I think about what values I bestow upon them. As an Asian, and perhaps the way I was raised, I highly value education and have been sending them to a private school. But as I also grow older, I wonder if it's so necessary. Of course education is important, but I am not sure if sending them to a private school is necessary. Because, there is so much more important than just learning - creativity, positive attitude, ingenuity, etc. I really want my kids to understand that there are a lot more things valuable than good grades. I want to encourage my kids to be entrepreneurial, try new things, and not be afraid of failures. Do your best and don't worry. I hope my parents could have taught me something different. I don't blame my parents at all, but I can't help but to imagine how things would have been different if I were taught different values.
That phrase, Never Give Up, is so simple and commonly used that it is beginning to lose its meaning after several times hearing it. A few weeks ago, I saw a glimpse of Randy Pausch’s last lecture on PBS. The title of slide was “Never Give Up”. I have heard about his last lecture at CMU before, but never actually watched it. For strange reason, it piqued my interest this time and I decided to search it on YouTube and watch it fully. It was a bit long, but didn't feel like it. I strongly recommend it.
What a great speech! On the face of death, he stared at it squarely and decided not to let it control his life. He was making the best out of the hand he was dealt with, and having fun at the same time. He actually lived longer than doctors predicted. I think it was because of his positive attitude even in the face of death. There are many memorable moments in the lecture, but I just wanted to mention a few things.
Brick Wall
He said he’d faced many brick walls in his life. Interestingly he said that a brick wall is not there to stop us, but to test us how badly we want it. It’s a natural elimination process. Those who don’t want it badly will give up easily and go away. Those who want it badly will find a way to get over the obstacle. That is so true. It goes with what he said about never giving up. He mentioned a few times when he faced a brick wall, but did not give up. Eventually things worked out, and it taught him tremendous lessons.
Luck
He also said that luck is where preparation meets opportunity. An opportunity can come from anywhere at any time, and those who prepared will reap the benefits. He attributed a lot of his success to luck, but he also worked very hard, often till wee hours of the day. It is the very same thing many founders of successful startups mentioned in Founders at Work. They all worked hard, but there were many external forces they couldn’t control and thus things could have gone any direction. The reason why they were successful and many others who were equally smart and worked hard didn’t was because of some lucky chances and opportunities.
My personal story
I definitely feel lucky to have found a job in this economy. I thought I was one of a few unlucky ones to be unemployed at the worst possible time, but it looks like there are many that have been affected. While I did my best everyday searching for a job, my new employment definitely has a lot to do with luck, having a good friend and being at the right place at the right time. However, until I signed an employment agreement, it was complete emotional roller coaster ride.
The previous company I was working for closed its doors in August 2008. I took a few weeks off, playing with kids and decompressing from the hectic start-up life, and started to look again since early September. Things went down south really fast in October when stock market started to tank in the wake of bank failures. Recruiting activities suddenly came to a halt, and response rate dropped significantly. All existing conversations stopped because many companies froze hiring. I had a director position I was interviewing for, and while the VP of marketing at the company kept dragging me along and telling me I was the “leading” candidate, they finally dropped the position in November. The first interview was in early September, and quickly I went through the second and third round of interviews successfully. In the beginning, the VP promised he’d make a decision by the end of September. When September passed, he said he had a problem scheduling interviews for a few folks. Mid-October, we even negotiated salary level, and he said he should have been able to make an offer soon. Then he wanted to check with the board of directors since economic condition had deteriorated. He came back saying the board was negative about hiring more, but when I asked about possibility of contractor position instead, the VP said it would be possible since he had marketing budgets to use. Then finally, VP never got back to me, and that was the end of it. Throughout the whole process, I was quite anxious to land something and I tried really hard to control my urgency to call or email every five minutes. It was tough, and when it didn’t finally come through after all that time, it was quite devastating. While I was going back and forth with this company, I had gone through final interviews at a couple of different places, but they didn’t work out either. I also had a few opportunities to lead very early stage start-up companies (a few people, in need of funding) where I’d have to work without salary for sometime while raising funds in this tough time. But, just as in my last start-up I founded, supporting family took precedence, and I had to turn them down. After watching Randy's video though, I wonder if I had given up on the first start-up too early. I hit a brick wall (actually several of them), but I gave up at the end.
Anyhow, everyday was quite hard. Whenever a recruiter called, a bit of hope sprung up, but it quickly died away when I didn’t hear back from them further. I sometimes got several calls from different recruiters for the same job. Since companies stopped hiring or slowed down dramatically, recruiters were hurting, too. I frequented local libraries, looking at different job boards and applying to various positions. I tried to utilize this time to get back to programming, but I couldn't focus with this dark cloud hanging over me. I reached out to everyone I could think of. Many tried to encourage me by saying kind words such as: “Hang in there, it will work out”, “You will find something soon”, “Unemployment does not represent who I am”, “It’s good time to spend time with family and kids”, etc. But, deep down, it still hurt and I could not help but feel I was losing my mojo. It was just bad timing, but blaming everything on external force would only make me complacent. I couldn't allow that. I had to be on my feet, always proactive.
However, more than anything, it was a learning opportunity. It was an opportunity to appreciate many things I took for granted, learn how to live frugally, and be thankful everyday. You realize how many things you don't really need. We had to cut down our expenses drastically and live in a very lean way, but it was definitely manageable. I also found out who my real friend was and who was not.
I can’t sugar coat current condition and say things will get better soon. I don’t believe, as many experts agree, things will get better soon. Definitely not for a while. I can’t offer advice on what would work and what would not, since I was a complete nerve wreck myself and couldn't keep positive attitude during the whole time. But, if I could offer a bit of advice to those in the job market, it would be the followings.
Never Give Up, because things will always work out at the end if you keep trying.
Keep positive attitude, which goes a long way when talking to a recruiter or during interviews. If Randy Pausch was able to keep positive attitude and had fun in the face of death, I think we all can.
It may sound strange, but many people have expressed the same opinion.
NOW is the best time to start a company.
I was reading an article from the latest Wired magazine, "Back to the Garage: How Economic Turmoil Breeds Innovation" which gives an example of Tom Siebel who started Siebel Systems in 1993 when economy was faltering then. He was able to hire good software engineers relatively easily and cheaply. He also got an office space quite cheaply as well. It also reminded me of a conversation I had with my friend who is a VC partner (I consider him a friend, but I am not sure if he does). He said this is best time for VC to invest in a company as well. VCs do have money from funds they had raised before the meltdown. Because of downturn, valuation of a company would be lower.
I had the same opinion during the first Internet bubble burst. Historically those companies that survive the economic downturn usually come out as the winner. During the bubble, it was very difficult to find good engineers and sometime companies hired people who could barely type. But when the bubble bursted and companies either closed or laid off many people, the pool of available engineers grew. VCs certainly still had money then. I was quite certain even then that economic downturn would be the best time to start a company.
Due to my unemployment, I frequently visit FuckedStartups.com a lot. There are certainly many layoffs going on. This was all prompted by Sequia Capital's warning to their portfolio companies a few months ago. Where would all the laid off engineers go? I've been searching for a while, but no one is really hiring. Even those who are hiring are taking their sweet time interviewing many folks. However, Americans are quite ingenious. In these tough times, someone with a good idea will hook up with others in similar situation and start a company together.
It also reminds me of the notion of "Creative Destruction". History of Silicon Valley is filled with successful companies born during the bust time following boom time.
Me? I have more pressing need to support my family, so I am going for a full-time employment. I can't start a company when my family relies on me for financial needs. But, when my wife starts working, that would be a different story. Look out, world!
Ample amount of free time gives me an ideal opportunity to read up on books (when I am not slacking off watching TV or browsing the web). However, I find myself always gravitated towards business and entrepreneurship books the most.
I am involved with a professional organization called "Bay Area K Group", and while it mostly consists of 1st generation Koreans, there are few 1.5 generations. Most members speak Korean exclusively, so if you don't you don't feel fitting in. I actually had an interesting discussion with another 1.5-gen Korean American, and he said broad Korean community (including 1st gen and beyond) has been having problem uniting, because of sutble (or quite large) cultural and language differences. Language makes up huge proportion of a culture, so it is probably safe to say language-induced cultural difference.
Anyhow, one of 1.5 gen guy I met there was in exactly the same situation as I was two years ago, operating a startup by himself. He talked about his concerns, and I could totally understand because I had gone through the same before. It's just too hard for one person to continue. That's one of many things I had learned when I did my own stuff. He's been doing it for two years, and I really command him for such effort. While talking, he suggested a book called "The Monk and the Riddle". I just finished reading it - it was an easy read since it was short, and it's another kind of book altogether (different from Founders at Work).
It gives a good overview of what VCs are typically looking for. There is no shortage of information about that, but this one stuck because it was told in a story. I could also relate to the main character - there are two main characters, a Virtual CEO and an entrepreneur, and I am talking about the entrepreneur, not the Virtual CEO. In the book, what struck me the most was about doing what you want to do instead of doing what you must do first and doing what you want to do later. The latter is how 99% of people operate. They feel that they must work, hold a steady job and support the family. After they retire, they feel like they could pursue what they want to do (Book continues on the subject and talks about how a company must have a mission other than making big bucks since the mission keeps the company going when things get tough). Another book called "4-hour Workweek" also talks about "Deferred Life Plan" where you do what you must to do so that you can pursue what you want to do later. The problem is, by the time you retire, you are either too old or too sick to enjoy what you want to do later. It's not necessarily money, either, while there is nothing wrong with it. But, everyone says that more money brings in more worries. Make enough money to live nicely (how nicely would depend on your lifestyle), and do what you want to do.
It struck such a cord with me because another successful entrepreneur told me the same. I wrote about him before. He had founded and run successful start-ups in the past and he now lives in a property with more than one-acre land in a super-rich town called Atherton, CA. After the shutdown of previous company I was working for, he and I had a chance to talk privately before presenting our success with Korea market to a company that bought the assets and intellectual property. I was seeking some concrete idea or wisdom from him, but I didn't get satisfactorial answer from him. Rather, he asked me why I want to start a company. I told him it was for wealth (money) and accomplishment (fame). He told me starting a company is a lousy way to make money (9 out of 10 fail) and there are different ways to seek fame (Hollywood for example). Then, he asked me what I would want to do if I had enough money. I told him I would like to make a difference in the world by setting a self-sustaining charitable organization. He said I should pursue that idea. However, I didn't get it at the time. I think I get it now, but it still feels unreachable and undoable. Always in the back of my mind is how I could support my family. How can I support the family running a non-profit, charitable organization? Isn't it something that social study graduates or millionaires or politician's wives do? I still think it's a very noble idea and I would definitely do it when I had "enough" money, but I am not sure if that's something I would do while having to support my family. It's just feels impossible....
But, there is also another thing I enjoy, and that is being a leader or being under the limelight. I've certainly enjoyed it in Korea, being a class president for three years in junior high school. I've also founded and ran a Anime (Japanase Animation) club at PENN. In my first job out of college, I assembled an Ultimate Frisbee team, which won the first place in recreation league in Washington D.C.
At any rate, I am about to start a job at a mobile application company, and I am quite excited about it. As I have mentioned before, I have been following mobile market and I am quite gung-ho about it. Even in downturn, I believe mobile market (in addition to gaming) will be way better than rest of the economy. I have been wanting to go into mobile market, and I am taking an opportunity to dive in head-first, as I do in many situations. I feel that this might be the place where I can get the best of "want" and "must".
I have finished the book. I skipped some chapters that I didn't find interesting.
I had this belief before, but it was confirmed in the book. Most of successful startups are childrent of acccidental success. Most founders didn't set out to build these big empires. Most of them were quite surprised at their own success. How amazing.
There is also something that I can't let go. It's the role of chances and luck. In any given circumstances, we can make any number of decisions. I remember Sliding Doors, less well known movie with Gwyneth Paltrow. It was a sappy movie about fate of love. The movie diverges when Gwyneth misses a train and when she catches the same train. It comes together in a hospital, where two parallel universes converge.
Anyhow, right now where I am is the result of sequence of decisions I had made. Some major, some very minor. We make decision all the time. I am writing this essay instead of getting ready for bed. There are external factors that affect me, and I may or may not have caused it.... Also a decision I make would affect others. I wonder what may have happened if admission committee of University of Pennsylvania rejected and I had gone to Virginia Tech instead. Or if I decided to stick around at Topspin instead of going to Korea and working for Samsung. Or more recently I put off looking for a job to help the bank sell assets and IP of the last company - GigaFin Networks - so that the business would continue. And now I find myself in worst time to be without a job. I made the decision not knowing what would lay ahead. Is it just bad luck? What about writing this essay at this moment? Would someone read it just by chance that may cause whole different chain of actions tomorrow and in the future?
Bottom line is that you don't know. Just like many of the founders said that the reason why they were successful was because they didn't know any better. They were too naive to know how hard running a startup would be. And they didn't give up when perhaps they should have. Sometimes is ignorance is indeed bliss. You can't be paralyzed by past and what-ifs. Make whatever best decision you can make at the moment, and go for it!
"A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan next week."
I've recently picked up a book called Founders at Work. I thought I've heard about it when I was trying out my start-up in 2006, but it has copyright date of 2007. It is a collection of interviews of founders at various (successful) start-ups.
There are definite similarities between all these successful founders.
Most of them were singles when they started companies.
They all started early, mostly around college period and sometimes in high school.
Because they started early, they were all inexperienced and naive. Yet, most of them got funding from VCs. That seems to contradict conventional belief that VCs bet on a jockey, not on a horse. Big difference? Working prototype. They all had products and prototype already working.
Most of them had gone through some tough times during the life of the start-up.
Their first idea rarely worked. Many have gone through multiple iteration of ideas to get it right.
Most had good partners and co-founders that supported each other in tough times. They all persevered, and made it at the end.
They all attributed a lot of their successes to luck. It's not that they didn't work hard and only waited for Lady Luck to smile at them. They worked really hard, and while things could have gone many different ways, some things just fell into place....by chance.
I haven't finished the book, but I have to wonder if I had given up my company way too early. There were many additional obstacles; like having to support the family and having no committed co-founder (my partner left in less than six months). Though, I don't regret having started a company. It was once-in-a-lifetime experience. Another thing the book said was that start-ups tend to require more than professional commitment from employees. People say you don't get in to business with friends, but start-ups do need friends because of its high emotional requirements.
Nevertheless, it's very interesting book. I wish I had read this book before I started my company.
I had a conversation with someone who has been quite successful as a serial entrepreneur. Since I have a lot of spare time, I wanted to pick his brain and get some pointers what I could follow his footsteps. His brief answer was that he just had been lucky, right place at the right time. He also said there are some people who are cut out to be a leader, founder, and entrepreneur. And, most people are not. He said God (whichever god depends on your religion) has set out a path for everyone. People have different strengths, and he doesn't believe in working on improving weaknesses, but reinforcing strengths.
One of the books I like is Sun Tzu's The Art of War. One principle in the book says that the state head must know how to utilize his generals' strengths best. If a general is good at offense, he should be deployed in offensive position. And if a general is good at defense, then in defensive position. You can't blame a general for not doing his job if he was assigned with a job he cannot possibly do well. It makes total sense......
So, what if your dream is not in line with your strengths? Or what if your strengths are not enough to reach your dream? Books and TVs are full of stories about people following their dreams, persevere, and actually achieving them. How about others who have followed them but never made them? There are many athletes, both professional and Olympic, who in spite of their best effort do not make it at the top. What about those countless artists and musicians? When do you realize that perhaps your strengths are not in line with your dream or just not enough? What do you do? Then, is it about different levels or definitions of success? Should an athlete be satisfied with making it to the Olympic teams?
It's especially meaningful to me since I have two kids of my own. As a parent, I would tell them that they could be anything they want to be. Would I be setting them up for big disappointments? Shall I just tell them that there are different levels of successes, and they should set low goals? Jack Welch is famous for setting "stretch goals", which may not be applicable for kids, but I really ponder over the whole thing.
I am in mid-30's and along the way I've made my own share of mistakes. Of course, in retrospect if I knew differently or better, I wouldn't have made those mistakes. A wise man once told me that a smart person would learn from others' mistakes, and it is so right. Come to think of it, I used to discount most proverbs and old sayings as whatever, but now I think they are true in general cases (perhaps more than 70% of time). They had become what they are from hundreds of years of observation, and I think that's pretty powerful.
So, I just wanted to warn people, especially those who may want to work for a local company in mother land (non-American descendants and/or 1.5 to 2nd, 3rd generations), about possible consequence of their action. If you plan to move there permanently, none of it would matter.
First and foremost, don't do it unless there is a good reason for it. Chances are you will be faced with vast corporate/local culture shock. Unless their culture could be considered positive or you are sure that you can spin it positively or you can be completely submerged in the culture and later plan to work for a company that targets the market, don't do it. In addition, if you want to come back and get another job, it would be hard to conduct phone and/or face-to-face interview from overseas.
Second, make sure it is a world-renown company where you are absolutely sure that skill sets and experiences can be viewed positively when moving back to US. Remember, how the company is perceived can be very different from views/experiences inside. It is crucial,
Third, if you really want an international exposure, go to an American company who is looking to send someone there so that you would at least be guaranteed a job in US. Like I said, it would be though to arrange and do phone and/or face-to-face interview from overseas, and you are likely to have to come back and start looking. It wouldn't apply if you have rich parents or uncle from whom you can live off for a while.
So, I have been interviewing at a bunch of places so far, but no offer yet. As I am faced with a rejection after rejection, it's hard to not to be discouraged. So far in my career, I've never had this much problem finding a job, and it's both shocking and depressing.
I can attribute this situation to one thing: Stuck in the middle. I am still in the career transition from engineering field to product marketing, and companies assess that two-years of experience in marketing is TOO LITTLE and two-years away from hands-on technical work is TOO LONG. Those companies I have applied for product marketing position selected a candidate with a lot more marketing experiences. Those companies I have applied for technical positions thought I wasn't technical enough. It would seem difficult to find a marketing position unless I have someone who can sponsor/champion me in a company.
Obviously, this is the lowest point of my life. And in times like this, you come to know who is really your friend and who is not. Well, mostly. I think some actually pretend or give you a lip service, but don't really care. I've spent two years in Korea to transition my career, and if I don't continue down this marketing path, those two years would seem like a total waste. I have been given a lot of advice from good people. They tell me I will definitely find something I want soon and something good is waiting for me just around the corner. I should stay positive and confident. It's just matter of timing. All those interviews that didn't work weren't meant for me. They are all good and I am grateful for them, but....
But, I can't help but feeling that walls are closing in. I see kids grow up and they need certain things like new clothes, camps, school, etc. Savings depleting too quickly.... Also, I hate being not settled down. Without a job, it feels like everything is up in the air. Tension is there, and so are silent worries. Everyone is on the edge, and it doesn't help current situation much.
I don't really want to stay in the East Coast, but I may need to stay here. But, if I didn't want to stay in the East Coast but get an offer here, it can't be why all other interviews didn't work out.... I used to believe that I am in control of my own destiny and I didn't believe in fate...., but I don't know. I am so sure now. Maybe I have a little control over my destiny, and for some reason it's been all mapped out for me.....
I hear that Virginia Tech gunman Cho Seung-Hui was picked on at middle and high school....for his shyness and perhaps accent. While high school is probably most miserable time for everyone...well for most except jocks and popular kids, it was probably his mental state that made everything worse. Watching his video tapes and pictures, I couldn't help get feeling that he was really disturbed, troubled and just mentally ill.
I came to US when I was 16, starting high school as a sophomore. I tend to place high expectation on myself, and it was another case of it. I should have started as a freshman, but with enough credits brought from Korea, I wanted to graduate in three years. Geez, what a mistake. I mean I knew how to read and write English, but not as close to speaking or understanding spoken English. Not only that I had to adjust to new culture and new ways of life. I ended up staying extra year as senior to ready myself for college, and it was a good thing since I went to an Ivy League school. It is actually interesting that my first choice was Virginia Tech and visited the school in cold, cold winter of 1992. Anyhow, high school was pretty tough for me, too.... A few kids picked on me, but I didn't think much of it, really. Come to think of it, I don't remember most of my high school life....
College was much better, in terms of student's tolerance. Most kids were acceptive of others and different things or culture. I've hung out mostly with Asian Americans, most of them 1.5, 2nd or higher generation kids.... Most of them were going through identity crisis. They were immersed in US culture and everything about them except looks says they are Americans (mostly Caucasians). I identified with them. My parents are very Korean, and I sometimes feel invisible wall between them and me. I love them, but since they moved to America in their 40's, they cannot change their way of lives. Funny thing is that even though I thought they were really Korean, when they visited Korea, they found themselves counting days to come back to US.... They themselves had become 1.5 generation without knowing!
When someone asks me, I always answer Korean American or Korean descendant. I have characteristics of both culture, and that's who I am. I cannot be completely Korean nor completely American. Unknowingly, my parents also had become Korean American, too.
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